Do you find it hard to feel or express your emotions? by Fiona Maguire

Do you find it hard to feel or express your emotions? by Fiona Maguire

09.2.2019 vicky 58

Do you…

Get confused as to what you are feeling

Not feel emotions when you think you should?

Not feel a deep connect with anyone else?

Prefer to be in your head analysing things
rather than feeling them?

Or maybe you do not feel your emotions?

If you have answered yes to more than one of the above, you
are most likely suffering from the ‘freeze’ response and are shut down. 

The ‘freeze’ response can result from prolonged stress,
shock or trauma.  Many people are not
aware of the link between stress and shutting down their emotions, which leads
to emotional problems and difficulties.

Don’t worry there is a way out of this!

Stress can be good, bad or ugly depending on how aware you are of
yourself and your stress.  You may
already know what stress is but do you know what prolonged stress is?

Just for clarity lets quickly state how stress effects the body…

Stress is your mind and body’s way of
responding to a demand, whether it is physical, mental of emotional.  Your body reacts to stress by releasing
chemicals into your blood that make you more alert, give you more energy and
often make you stronger.  This is called
‘the stress response’.  The stress response
(SR) is great when you are being chased by a saga tooth tiger and need to take
action quickly without thinking.  However
this does not happen anymore, no matter how furious your boss can get!

Today’s Stress

In today’s society most stress is a result
of how you see / feel about a situation, rather than an actual life threatening
moment.  This is where the problem
starts! Because the danger is not real it is not socially acceptable for you to
punch your boss, have a tantrum or run away. 
This means that all the chemicals that get released into your body by
the SR are not used. 

Instead the chemicals stay floating around
your body causing tension (physically and mentally), inflammation, and
illness.  A further complication is that
you became stressed much more easily and start another SR in your body.  If this cycle continues over a period of
time, without sufficient relaxation time, your body exhausts the SR and you go
into the into the “immobility” or “freeze” response.

The “freeze” response

This “freeze” response is used successfully
by deers that cannot run away from the approaching lion.  The deers that froze where often not killed
by the lion, or if they were the advantage of the “freeze” response was that
they did not feel it.  When the danger
had passed the deer shakes their body discharging the chemistry and energy that
is contained in the “freeze” response and they begin to feel their body and
emotions again.  This successful
completion of the cycle of the “freeze” response prevents the deer from
suffering from stress or exhausting the stress response.  Peter Levine, an expert in trauma, states
that when a person goes into the “immobility” or “freeze” response they are not
able to feel their emotions or anything else and that they often stay shut down
to their emotions and can stay this way for the rest of their lives, without
even realising that something is missing from their life.

I see many clients
that have anger issues, physical pain, persistent health concerns, have
problems communicating or are depressed. 
What they all have in common is they do not realise that they have shut
off from their emotions and this is what is causing them to suffer. 

When you are unable to feel your emotions
or make sense of other people’s emotions you miss out on experiencing what
makes you feel alive, what gives
colour to life and a deep sense of connection that you could have with other

The way out and getting back to yourself

The way out of being shut down is to become aware that you
are and take action to release the stress from your body and life. 

one or more of these will help:

  • Taking
    time out
  • Remembering
    to take deep breaths
  • Going
    for a walk
  • Sitting
    in Nature
  • Meditating

Are all great ways that you can help yourself. 

If you have been suffering from Prolonged Stress and you
now know that your life can be different, don’t wait any longer and seek the
assistance of a professional, especially one that specialise in shut down

However you may now realise that you need assistance to
help you start to feel your emotions, feel alive and move forward in your life,
this is where seeing a professional that specialises in shut down emotions can
really help.

Love, Fiona Maguire

Fiona Maguire is an Intuitive Transformative Coach, Psychologist, International Speaker and Author.  She has over 20 years of experience.  She worked in the NHS and in Social Services.

Currently Fiona runs her own practice working mainly online.  She works with individuals, couples and corporations delivering coaching and training. Learn more about Fiona at

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Do you find it hard to feel or express your emotions? by Fiona Maguire